From Athens to Mallorca, From Mallorca to Zurich.

It did not take a couple of days, it took a couple of years. 4 years where the world has come up upside down a few times, but every time, every year feeling stronger and stronger.

I have grown up a lot and now I realize I am 37 years old. I have lost a lot on the way and I have gained a lot. I have learned how to fight, how to be strong, how to stay focused for my loved ones.

There is still a big piece missing from my life and finally, after all this time I have decided that there is no way to be able to fight for everything at the same time.

In Mallorca I made friends that I know will be there for life. I managed in these years to go closer to friends that I had 'lost' and I made a conscious decision to get back closer to them. I want my son to meet the people that mean so much for his mother. I want my son to meet the family his mother chose. I know that it is cliche but is true. Friends are the family we chose. This family many times seems to be far away from me, spread around different countries but they are the family I chose. People that have been next to me and have shared with me moments of joy and sadness. So, going to back to these people and having the goal that my son meets the majority of them is an important goal of my life from now on. I want him to be able to understand that although I have never stayed in one place for too long, I have been lucky enough in my life until now to never be alone. To have around me people that care and find the time to be there.

Billy is only 6 years old and he is still too young. But I know he is worried about me. So often when he sends me his precious voice messages telling that he hopes that little Jesus is my side protecting me on my journeys, I know he is worried that I am alone, that there is no one here to protect me. But in life we make choices and this, he is too young to understand. I am not alone. I have him and I have my friends. I have people 'around' me that love and care about me. I have a life full of adventures. I live a life full of new things, having every day a new challenge.

I have promised myself that I will never try to live my life through my son. I will fight for my dreams so that he can have his own. I live and I hope for him to do the same. I hope I teach him to value friendship as much as family. Because friends are there to stay...for ever...not for a day or two.

home sick

Malaga...well, not exactly Malaga...more like...Malaga airport! Amazing! It is the fourth busiest airport in Spain after Madrid, Barcelona, Mallorca. But how sad is it really that I have actually gotten to know better the airports than the actual places? A colleague of mine in a recent trip noted that she has started confusing the airports. It is so true!!! You are not quite sure which is which!
When someone travels too much they start to become disoriented. It does not have to be long haul flights, or long trips. Even changing beds every so often and that feeling of not knowing when you are when you wake up...it is really unpleasant. It also makes me feel sad some times...I miss my family and my home...the sense of stability and security. I am sad...Just sad.

It is scary and sad and furstrating...and shocking...and and and...I do not get it! How could let anyone let another person die without caring, in front of your eyes. Especially a child!! I have never considered myself to be a good Samaritan. But this is not about being a good Samaritan. This is about being alive! This is about having a heart!
I come from a country where everything seems to be going wrong right now. Well, I think that anyone with a sensible mind that has lived in Greece even for a short while, should have seen it coming. But there are things in this world that go much more wrong than the financial status of Greece. My family is affected a lot has well but this, what happened to this poor soul, for me I think is the worst news of many days. I know there are children dying every second from diseases and hunger. But if these children were next to you, if you were walking past them, wouldn´t you share your food? Wouldn´t you give them shelter? Maybe they are not children of your race. Maybe they are not children you know. But they are children that no one asked if they are prepared to come into a world where they have to endure the harshness of humanity from the early days of their lives.
I have never considered myself as an emotional person. I have never considered myself to be a good parent. I never believe that God will punish or will forgive. But I sincerely hope and wish that some how, what happened to this child will make even only a few realize that life is precious. Every life is precious and we have to protect it. Atnd never forget that no one, but no one, is immune to pain and unhappiness. It can strike our door any moment...and then surely you would not like your pain to be caused simply because someone was in a hurry to get to work and did not care about a loved one!

yeah yeah i know....

yeah yeah...I know my English is not perfect...and yes....I know that I make a lot of mistakes...but it makes me feel free...and I am having fun...so I will carry on....;)

I seem to be getting the hang of it...the only thing now, is I need to ask Santa for an iMac instead of these lovely LV short boots I have had my eyes on...Do not tell me it is early for Christmas!! I confirmed with Santa that his PO Box is all set up!!!! I think this year´s letter is going to be short and ....sweet!!! ;) I will give it a day or two and then see...maybe I add a couple more goodies on my list.

Monday...

Monday...

I knew it would be a long week but I was kinda hopping that it would not be a bad week.

Well, it did not start very well...first I was not prepared for the meeting, only because I was never briefed on what I need to prepare (but I was called in to present anyway) and then I came to realize that the whole week is actually booked with meetings that I will need to attend and present but I had no idea about! So much for organization then!!

I would like so much to go home and see my boy now and give him a hug and play with him in the garden. He makes it all go away. It is only a few days till days left before I head back to Greece but it feels like I need to go on for weeks!!

At least ´flogging stuff´ seems to be going well, although having said, I got a massive bill through the letter box for another ´last minute contribution´ to the Greek government. As if I have money growing on trees!!! And the moving company is coming 14th October for the first shipping. So, instead of sleeping last night, I decided to do mentally, lists of things I would need to ship!! What on earth is wrong with me? I had the whole weekend to do that AND DURING DAY TIME!!!!

more than a day or two...

It has been almost a month...Usually I have inspiration to write in my sleep. But then if I wake up I know I will not be able to get back to bed.

Oh...a lot of travelling since the first couple of times I wrote. I went back home to Greece and then back to Mallorca, to Gran Canaria, Mallorca again and shortly back home. Every time I am getting ready to go back I get so excited to see my boy again. I miss him terribly and the few minutes when I wait by the conveyor belt to get my suitcase seem to be the longest minutes of my life af the moment.

October is going to be hard...and so is going to be November...maybe December will be better?!?!

I have decided to actually sell some personal items on ebay. The flat in Mallorca is smaller and I realize that a lot of things keep me too close to the past. This is a new beginning and I want to focus on that...Just to get rid of some ´baggage´. You know what I mean right? Plus, I need the cash...to pay off the credit cards...so I re invest in more handbags...that are not connected in any way to my past....only my present :) I will give it a day or two with ebay...maybe it will actually work....

And in the meantime I have a crazy week ahead of me...!!!! Lots of work and lots of drinking...and somehow I do not think these two go side by side very nicely.

portugal

...19:39 ...Palma de Mallorca,

So, tomorrow starts a new week. Off to the office in the morning and then flying to Faro for two days. Only problem is I just realized I do not have any luggage to take with me! It is either a huge Mandarina Duck suitcase or my precious Longchamp Leather Veau Foulonne Calfhide Travelbag, which I simply refuse to check in for any reason! And yes for two days I need to check in luggage because I recently did a Keratine treatment to my hair and I need to use the ´correct´ products as promised to Jorge from Madrid who actually devoted 4 hours in restyling my hair. And no...they did not have travelsize containers and because I am in Mallorca...there is no MUJI to buy the containers that I like.There could be something similar but I have not been here long enough to find out everything. I am working on it though.

And since it is Sunday, and I should NOT have left it a day or two when the company booked the flights, now I am stuck. I do not like borrowing luggage (never have done actually) but it seems like I will have to resort to that for now. Note to self...bring back from Greece a couple of smaller luggage!! It looks that there will be a lot of flying around for the next 3 months and it has got to be professional but nevertheless fun!