It did not take a couple of days, it took a couple of years. 4 years where the world has come up upside down a few times, but every time, every year feeling stronger and stronger.
I have grown up a lot and now I realize I am 37 years old. I have lost a lot on the way and I have gained a lot. I have learned how to fight, how to be strong, how to stay focused for my loved ones.
There is still a big piece missing from my life and finally, after all this time I have decided that there is no way to be able to fight for everything at the same time.
In Mallorca I made friends that I know will be there for life. I managed in these years to go closer to friends that I had 'lost' and I made a conscious decision to get back closer to them. I want my son to meet the people that mean so much for his mother. I want my son to meet the family his mother chose. I know that it is cliche but is true. Friends are the family we chose. This family many times seems to be far away from me, spread around different countries but they are the family I chose. People that have been next to me and have shared with me moments of joy and sadness. So, going to back to these people and having the goal that my son meets the majority of them is an important goal of my life from now on. I want him to be able to understand that although I have never stayed in one place for too long, I have been lucky enough in my life until now to never be alone. To have around me people that care and find the time to be there.
Billy is only 6 years old and he is still too young. But I know he is worried about me. So often when he sends me his precious voice messages telling that he hopes that little Jesus is my side protecting me on my journeys, I know he is worried that I am alone, that there is no one here to protect me. But in life we make choices and this, he is too young to understand. I am not alone. I have him and I have my friends. I have people 'around' me that love and care about me. I have a life full of adventures. I live a life full of new things, having every day a new challenge.
I have promised myself that I will never try to live my life through my son. I will fight for my dreams so that he can have his own. I live and I hope for him to do the same. I hope I teach him to value friendship as much as family. Because friends are there to stay...for ever...not for a day or two.
